Looking

Today we watched a video of our performance in SF. I think we looked pretty good, but of course when you're watching a video of yourself, all you can do is obsess and be critical of how you look. I think I shimmy around too much. I need to hold my kata down more. Also, no matter how into my solo I get, I should never lift my leg up off the ground, especially if I am wearing white tabi against a black background. Shudder.

Also tonight we were working on other kata issues, and Janet was trying to describe a kata thing to someone, and I was thinking, Hey this is the kata speech she gave me one time that I still don't get. So I was watching and paying attention and making mental notes, but the person wasn't immediately getting it, and all of a sudden I look up and Janet was making the strangest face at me. It was just a millisecond, kind of funny, but in that moment a little jarring, because I heard her say--heard her without her saying anything: You need to help me try to explain this right now don't just stand there I totally need your input can you try to word this differently I need your help right now stop staring and say something anything quick OMG! So I had to say something! Even though I didn't completely get it. But I think I said something semi-intelligent, even though it included the word "boing!" but I think in the end it was helpful. But this is good training. Having to describe things differently. Learning ways of teaching on the seat of your pants, on the fly, in the moment, in ways that you may not see it but maybe makes sense from other perspectives.

A couple of years ago my goal was to learn anything anyone could teach me, but now I think another goal should be to learn how teach anything anyone throws at me.