Picture Day

Remember when you had picture day at school? My mom used to make me wear "cute" shirts and I had that god-awful "pixie" hair cut and teeth that were too big for my face. Today we had to take some publicity pics for taiko, and I was kinda having flashbacks to those picture days. I've never taken pictures for taiko before. I mean, I've had my picture taken while I was playing taiko, but I've never had to stand there with my arm up in the air (with Janet whispering over her shoulder, put some tension in that arm!!) and putting on a smile while I was only pretending to play. Anyhow, I grew into my teeth, my hair is short again, but less pixie, I put on lipstick (a rare event, indeed) and today the outfit was super cool, though a little motley since we all were wearing different costumes since our regular costumes aren't ready yet. We arranged a bunch of pretty drums around us (my Baby shime included--cause she's so pretty) and stood there while groupie Ed stood on a ladder with a high-res digi-cam. Actually, it was pretty cool to be standing there with our plastic smiles on taking publicity pics. That's not something you do every day, is it? Or in my case, ever.

Anyhow, after pics, it was back to work. We worked on Matsuri, and I have a solo, though now it seems a bit short, but long enough for the moment, and I think I played it ok, though it got stepped on before I finished, but eh, there will be other opportunities. And we worked on a new version of an old song. Janet and I worked it out on Wednesday, and we got through it today. Then we put the finishing touches on yet another song, and then we were done working out all our songs. Seven songs in our bag of tricks. Not bad, eh? Not bad considering we decided in December that we were going to do this show in March, and now it's only the end of January and we have all the songs worked out, and now all we need to do is work on projecting the energy of them and memorization and all that. When we were working on that big show for Emeryville Taiko it took from February to November, two or three times a week to get through about 6 or 7 songs. True, there is some overlap with the songs, but the arrangements are completely new, there is completely new material, and new solos. But I think that it's a sign of my progress and ability to handle new stuff, or at least completely new arrangements of familar stuff, or at the very least, to not totally freak out. I don't have the same kind of worry as I did before. It'll be ok. All I need to do is smile.

Solo #1, Part 2

So, I've been working on my solo for Matsuri. I know I'm going to look back on this someday and wonder why I was so stressed, or laugh at why I was so stressed. But note to self: the things that we think are so easy now, were actually really hard then. It's the struggle that makes us so snug later.

Anyhow. I've been working on my solo, and I realized today that in composing solos that I'm not struggling as hard now as I used to. I mean, yes, this is really hard for me. I've been thinking about the same 8 bars of music all day long, but it's a different kind of struggle than I've had, say, 2 or 3 years ago. I remember I had to compose a short solo for one of the first versions of Heiya and it took me a really, really long time. I wound up stealing like crazy and actually performed it, and while I think I would cringe to listen to it today, it was nice to undergo that struggle and come out on the other side with something that I created. Tonight I was happy with myself because I was incorporating, quite easily, all sorts of movement into my solo, while just 6 months ago, incorporating any kind of movement at all would have been just excruciating.

I'm learning a lot. It is wonderful to have a really good teacher. I am growing by leaps and bounds and taking direction by someone I totally trust and respect. That is so important. I wouldn't be where I am, wouldn't even aspire or dream of this whole taiko thing if it weren't for someone who pushes me, challenges me, and in turn, shows me the same kind of respect. I know that taiko can have its hierarchies--the senpais, the kohais, the senseis. I don't think for a minute that I am anything but a total newbie, but to be treated as an equal by someone who could so easily be put on her own pedastal and feared/revered (but who gives no cause for that, at all) is something that I am always thankful for. It is equally wonderful to be able to play with really talented people, and to be able to feel free to explore and put yourself out there.

Solo #1, check.

Fear of Heights?

So tonight I went to my first "Technical Theater" class. It seems fun. Basically we're going to learn about all that vital backstage stuff that goes on while you're performing your wonderful solos and not thinking a bit about how you're lit up and looking as fabulous as can be when you're really thinking eh, what comes next? The teacher is really into lighting, and I think that will be a major component of the course. He is a dancer, but also fell into stage managing and lighting design. There is a theater on campus that rarely sees much theater because we cut the theater program five years ago. People still put on the occasional show there, but it seems like we'll have full reign of the place and all its goodies. Our main task of the semester will be to help put on the senior dance thesis concerts in April.

Anyway, tonight we were going over some basic concepts like what a stage manager and producer and blah blah blah is. Basic basic. Stuff I need to know. We even briefly covered the topic of what downstage and upstage are. Remember back in October when the guy was like, Can you move your drum downstage a bit, and I was like, huh? Well for you folks who don't know, back in the old days, the stage was built at an angle so that the people upstage (ie, at the back of the stage) were actually higher than the people downstage (ie, at the front of the stage, closer to the audience) so that the audience could see the performers better. If you learn nothing else from this blog, learn that--upstage and downstage. Boy did I feel dumb. Hopefully this course will teach me the basic-basic things that will prevent feeling of dumbidity.

So, one of the introductory things we learned was how to focus a light. We weren't in the actual theater tonight--it was more of a rehearsal space--with lights. I did OK, but I did have to climb up a rather rickety wooden ladder. And while I'm not particularly scared of heights, I am scared of uncertainty, and a ladder that rocks back and forth is a little uncertain. I was a little nervous(even though the ceiling was probably not even 10 feet high) and am a little scared of what the actual theater will be like. But hey--I can get over my fear of heights, right? I'm almost over stage fright. Almost. I'll have to work on that. Just more hurdles coming my way.

Oh, but did I mention there were only 2 other people in the class? I don't know how many people it will take to fill a class, but I'm not so sure about a college allowing a class of 3 to continue. I mean, we are a small liberal arts college for women, but 3 people?? We'll have to see. And I can't be sure if the other 2 will actually continue with the class. I can just imagine that one or maybe even two of them will drop out and it will be just me and teacher guy lighting up all the senior thesis shows. Sounds familiar though, right, taiko people? One person taking over and doing monumental things to get a show off the ground? I had hoped for 10 people. But hey, we'll just have to see. Another scary thing to overcome. And those ladders. Scary. We'll see.

Solo Spot #1

So last Sunday I was designated as the last solo in a simple Matsuri song we're going to perform in March. The show is moderately a big deal--if you're a taiko player, then you know that playing a gig at some community college is nothing new, but we decided to make it a big deal for us, since we need to work on getting a repertoire together and having a solid set of songs, and since March is a good goal to try to get our act together, we think it's a big deal. So anyway, I get the last solo, which is kind of a big deal (for me, anyways), since the last solo kind of seals things and is the finale solo. It's actually kind of an honor. Janet usually gets last solo, and for her to give it up to me--that's gotta mean something. I mean, yes, giving up the last solo to a newbie at a community college event is not so big, but to me--well it's something new to work toward. I mean, at the last place I played taiko at, only one person had last solo, and it was always that last person, and to even dream of having that position was a wild fantasy. But here I am, in that spot, and now I feel like I've got this new responsibility--this new honor and it's wonderful and a bit stressful too. I mean, I had a set solo for Matsuri for that school show last September, but this--this is something new. I need something spectacular. I need movement. I need cool riffs. I'll be working on this. I will. Wow.

Also, we've got a lot to work on in the next--what--6 weeks. And oh god, solos. Lots of them. And take a look at the notes for a new version of a song:

And then the really hard song that we have yet to get through flawlessly. And a solo for that song that I really never truly love my solo for. And then percussion (chekere, people--and guess what--bell and clave!). And also we're composing a song (as we speak!) that we need to get everyone up to speed on.

But am I complaining? No way.

And guess what? I've been toying with the idea of enrolling (for free--what wonderful perks) in a "Dance Production and Lighting Design" class at work. Stage managing, sound boards, lighting design, equipment usage--all this I will learn, if I can figure out the paperwork and can commit to it once a week for a semester. Semester ends in May. It's already almost February. The only catch is that we've probably got to put on the Dance-Major Thesis shows in April. No biggie, right? That's what I'm telling myself. I've already got a notebook picked out. I realized last weekend that I needed to remember how to be a student, since I threw out all my student-skills when I gleefully graduated from the MFA program. No more underlining. No more notebooks. But eh, it all comes back to you. The only difference is that I'm so enthusiastic about the course. I just hope that I won't be one of those annoying students who ask all kinds of questions. But hey--that's what education is all about, right? You don't realize all that till you're graduated I guess. We'll see though. The paperwork has to go through and I just hope the class doesn't fill up. Might be nice to be surrounded by geeky types like myself for a change.

Until then, it's solos, people. Great, wonderful, song-closing solos. And stuff.

It's Fuh-fuh-fuh-reezing!

My daily email weather report said that it was going to be something like 31 degrees tonight. Farenheit! And it's been like this for well over a week. I haven't experienced this much consecutive cold weather since, well, ever. It's obvious I would not survive an east coast winter. I'm not sure how I am surviving now. I've got the heater on a lot, but since the first bill was 80-something dollars, we've been trying not to use it too much. Right now I'm wearing--wait, let me count--a tank top, a long sleeved shirt, a fleece vest, a sweatshirt and a scarf, and I'm still cold! I hate the cold. I hate the rain more, and even though I'm miserable now, I'll take sunny cold days over dreary wet days any time.

184--The Magic Number?

So I've been working on my counting drill--it's nothing but a series of doko's--but I want to be able to do it quickly and accurately. Last week I made a note in my planner saying: 176? Impossible? But I was wrong, since now I can do it at 176 beats per minute. I think it's about just developing the patience and the right muscles. Most of what holds me back are the little things I'm thinking as I'm doing the drill, like, am I holding the bachi right? Am I breathing? Is my left shoulder popping up? Is my thumb cheating? Can the neighbors hear this? What about the laundry--do we need to do laundry yet? Do I have quarters? But this week I put a note in my planner saying, definitevely, 184, impossible. I tried today, and really, it seems impossible. But maybe I'll be able to log-in in a week or so saying how I was wrong. It's something to aim for, anyway. At what point do you need to change the type of bachi you use, or the technique? I still can't do a snare-drum-type roll to save my life.

Oh, and since we're airing our laundry, I am going to run Bay to Breakers again this year. If you don't remember, it's that 7-mile race from the Bay side of San Francisco to the breakers side. Basically a sprint (or leisurely jog) from one side of the City to the other. My friend wants us to dress up as Frida Kahlo this year. Since I have short hair, I'm thinking the pissed-off-at-Diego-Frida, but that means wearing a man's coat, which I don't have, and don't have the inclination of wearing while I run 7 miles. Last time I went home, I found this beautiful Mexican blouse my Mom has probably kept in her closet since the 70's. I brought it up here, not knowing what for, but I'm thinking Frida. Seven miles of Frida. Anyhow, now I said it, and now I have to train for and run it. You should really come. It's a lot of fun and not nearly as hard as it sounds.

All Tied Up

My new obsession (behind taiko, of course) is knot tying. I love knots. I think they're little miracles delivered to us by the laws of physics and nature. And they are oh-so-practical. When I was moving, we had to find a way to secure bookshelves and stuff to the Jeep while we transported them from point A to point B. Do you know what made that happen? Knots. I used a bowline and some half-hitches and we were on our way. Do you know how to tie your shime? There's probably a bowline there at the end of your rope. Do you know how to secure two ropes together? No, not a granny knot. Try the sheet bend. Wanna tie your horse to the fence while you down a couple of cold ones at the saloon? Try a hitch. If you don't know how to tie a clove hitch, then you're in big trouble when you want to escape the shootout you created at the saloon because of those sloppy granny knots you tied to make sure Sparky didn't wander off. I just got a book of knot-tying that I'm absolutely loving right now. Spent an hour in the chasm working on my knot tying. Great fun, I'm telling you. After I finish tying a knot I sit back and admire the wonder of it. Such certainty and security. But also a firm sense of control. Yes a sheet bend is wonderful. But a sheet bend with a slip knot for easy untying? I mean, who thought of that? Brilliant!

And in other news, looks like I'm going to be the only one teaching the new taiko classes at the new space. Our other prospective teacher is a little booked up for the next few months, which means there's just me in line to teach. It was funny because the other girl was like, I need to back out for now is that ok?, and Janet was like, Oh, sure, I know Kathryn can handle it. I can't complain when someone believes in me. I'm flattered. And also, I believe her. Yes, I can handle it, right? Even though I've never actually had my own taiko class before. Even though I'm actually kind of scared to death, and even though I have just a little idea of what I think I'm doing. But that's what this is all about, right? Doing the scary stuff. Doing the challenging stuff. Doing the things that we think we cannot do.

That's got me all tied up in knots. But hey, aren't knots my latest obsession? I said so myself, no backing out on that now.

The Virtuous Path

This weekend's taiko looks a little blurry. Seems like we're in the familiar dilemma of we're really loud and we need to find a way of pursuing the music without completely alienating ourselves from the neighbors. Got an email today from Janet today saying that her goal was to build community, not annoy them. Which of course is true and right and the virtuous path. I, on the other hand, am younger and more fiery and combative. I'm discovering this about myself. I think youth desires what it wants and throws caution to the wind and, in essence, pisses off the neighbors. But this is not the way to go, ultimately, and I know that. Remember a little while back I was like, I need to resign from Emeryville Taiko IthinkI'llsendanemail, and Janet was like, don't create regrets, at least call, for godssakes. I did, and I don't regret it. But this is why I do not talk to the neighbors. If it was me against annoyed-Alameda-guy, I'd be like, shut the f*$% up and leave us alone! But instead Janet was like, OK, I'm listening to you, here is my phone number, call me before you call the police. I am young. She is older and wiser. I need to work on that. Wiser works out better in the long run. Annoyed-Alameda-guy eventually came around and started speaking reasonably and saying reasonable, logical things when he realized he was speaking to a reasonable, logical person. Not that what we wanted was to scramble to find a new space to practice or have to muffle the drums, but it was logical in the community-building sense.

Which leaves us with this weekend. Where are we gonna play? The new space has no doors or windows or soundproofing. Hopefully we will work something out, even if it means playing at Janet's house, which still poses the dilemma of neighbors and space. This is not what we wanted. This is not what fiery youth desires. But I, the I that is getting older (gulp), and realizing things about the world and the world that we create for ourselves, is realizing that in order to take the really big steps that we desire, must learn that big steps are really just just a series of a bunch of little steps. We just make them look big.