Direction

Tonight we met with the director of our big performance, Jael. I've never worked with anything like a seperate director before (artistic direction for me has always come from within the group of people who are performing), so it was really interesting to me to see the process. He came in with fresh eyes and asked the important questions like, why are the characters doing that? How does that work with the story of the piece. Sometimes when you work hard on something, it's a little difficult to hear questions like that, but I think overall it's a good thing. This really is an important learning process for me.

I have so much to practice. Every time we run something I make mental notes to myself like, you have to work on this, and you have to work on that. I am so going to be making best friends with my metronome, and I need to stand in front of the mirror. But I think I am making a lot of progress. Everything is a lesson to me, and that is really wonderful. I mean if I just think of where I was a couple of years ago, then it becomes obvious that I've come a long way, but the further I come, the more I realize how much there is to learn, and how much harder I'd really like to work. It's these times when we are working really hard on things that I think I really grow the most. Lots of growing. That's my goal.

Body Lessons

My body is reminding me that I need to relax when I play by causing me annoying pain. I've had a problem with my upper back/neck for years now, and I think I finally know what is causing it. Actually it started about 10 years ago when I joyfully hopped down the last couple of steps with a fully loaded shoulder bag and I felt something rip when I landed and I was in so much pain I had to lie down on the floor to sleep. Now it comes back every now and then, sometimes caused by a strange turn to reach for something or doing something normal like making the bed. I just feel a warmth and sudden tightening and I know the next 2 or 3 days will be excruciating. Or sometimes it just comes on gradually. Just a tight spot that needs stretching but ends up leaving me back on the floor. Once it was solved when I was driving and made a turn that pulled my body one way while my hands held on to the steering wheel and I felt something tug and free itself. I have a theory that this may be caused by my extra rib, but that's just a theory. I've thought about seeing a chiropractor or something, but I know no chiropractors, and how would I get an appointment to see one anyway? Help??

Anyhow, since I've been working on my do ro tsu ku's so much, I think that I've been tensioning up my shoulders, which is bad. You should always play relaxed. Relaxation comes after you've cranked up the bpm on your metronome and have played for a long time so that the pattern comes naturally. Yes, natural happens, but then I crank up the bpm again, repeating the cycle. This whole back thing is just a reminder that I need to play relaxed.

Tonight I was do ro tsu ku-ing with Janet and it was a lot of fun. Just easy noodling and whatnot. She's fun to play with. I think maybe we have a similar sensibility. I have a better idea on what we're going to be playing for the show, but until we rehearse with the bassist, it's still up in the air. Which is good. Because I'll practice. Relaxed. But I feel more confident now and I think my bpm's are up to speed, but wouldn't mind cranking it up a bit more. Plus I need to build up endurance, since the do ro tsu kus' are still for a yet undetermined length. It was funny because Janet asked if I would get tired and if we would need to come up with a cue so one of us could rest, and I was like, Huh? Rest?? How long are we playing them for? 20 minutes? I don't think I'll need a rest. And that's because of my metronome training, yo. But now my next goal is playing without tensioning up my shoulders, which is important, as I am just now finding out. Usually someone else tells you these things, but I think my body is catching on and letting me know before hand. Until then, playing relaxed. Yep.

Do ro tsu ku

I am practicing my do ro tsu ku's (that's the taiko way of saying "big-big-small-small"). It's not a hard pattern to play, but I have to learn how to play it fast. Not just fast, but fast-fast! And not just fast-fast, but we're going to be playing along with a jazz bassist, who can play as slow and cool as he wants, as long as we play fast-fast. I am of course a little intimidated by this idea, but that's a good thing, because that makes me obsess, and when I obsess, I practice really really hard. I like to turn on my metronome as well as a stop watch, so I can say, ok, I'm going to play it at 120 bpm for 20 minutes. And then I crank the metronome up a notch and do it again for another 20 minutes, or however long. It's also challenging because playing this pattern for extended periods of time makes me hypnotized, so I have to fight that. Plus we are going to be playing it with mallets, which I've never used before. I have to get used to the different balance and sound. I haven't decided if I like the bigger or smaller ones yet. I've been playing on the practice pad which makes hardly any noise at all, so it's also been difficult to tell if my do ro's are markedly different than my tsu ku's. Everything sounds like sput sput sput sput to me right now. The good side is that I have 4 weeks to perfect this. The bad side is that at this moment I still have no idea what this mystery song is, but tomorrow I will learn more.

Oh and check out the poster behind my practice pad. It's a giant display of gobos, which are surprisingly interesting to space-out to when you're practicing. They're like little amusement parks for the eyes.

All right. I think it's time for TV now. Practicing hard is good, but I've been at RCW every day this week since last Sunday, and tonight is my only night off besides next Saturday so I think I will take the time to veg out. Pass me the remote, yo.

Gearing up

I'm having a hard time thinking of a title for this post. We are currently in rehearsals for our big show in April. This was our second week with Brenda Wong Aoki and Mark Izu. I am so happy just to be a fly on the wall of this whole thing, although I'm very quickly learning that I'm not a fly since I've got parts and transitions now. When I pushed my drum off stage the wrong way, Janet was like, take the moment to turn your drum and push it off this other way. And I thought to myself, man, I already KNOW that, why didn't I do it correctly?? It's like I have to be this professional now, and though it was nice in the earlier days to be a beginner and not have so much expected of me, I need to start thinking of myself differently. I don't think of myself as a pro yet, but I know that having the correct stage presence and professionalism is expected of me. I don't know when I'll allow myself to think of myself that way. Not yet. I'm still learning whole worlds of things. I haven't earned it yet, not in my mind anyway.

And tonight I went into rehearsal thinking Ok, Kathryn. Just come into with a very open mind, and don't say anything and don't let your own opinions influence the way you look at how things progress. These guys know what they're doing so sit down, shut up and watch these people do the thing you so admire already and you'll learn something. Not that I talk much anyway in rehearsal, not that I argue or try to insert my opinion very often. But I do think things--in my head, even if I don't say them. Things that I know probably hold me back and that I try to block out from my thought processes when we're in the midst of a rehearsal or whatnot. This is my time to learn. I know that. That's part of this journey. When I started playing with Maze, my first goal was to learn everything they could teach. Then it was learn how to learn, particularly things that weren't taught. I had to look at things and say to myself, well I don't know that, so I'll have to teach myself. It's not like I've totally graduated from those things. But now I think my next lesson will be how to learn to think for myself, but I don't feel like I'm there yet, since I think in order to think for yourself you have to learn what there is out there, and the possibilities, and what the process it is to get from the possibilities to the finished product. Maybe once I start to get familiar with those things, then maybe I can start thinking for myself. Wait, that doesn't sound quite right. I do think for myself. Maybe what I'm trying to get at is that I need to try to be more of a contributing member, but before I have the confidence to do that, I have to be able to form opinions that are more open-minded and experienced. Do you see the difference? Maybe that's what my next goal should be. Experience.

Anyhow. Part of Brenda's magic is to invoke the spirits--the spirits of our ancestors, of ghosts, of our community. She's a very wonderful storyteller. Amazing, actually. There was an eerie moment in rehearsal today. We were playing Chikara, and I was thinking to myself, wow, this is a really pretty song. I think my Mom can hear it. I think she's right here listening to me play it. I'm playing it for her. And while I was having this moment, I saw Brenda talking to someone and nodding her head yes, and after we were done with the song, she announced: I know what the role of Maze is! (The story for this whole performance follows a motherless girl wandering the world) You are the mothers of this girl because she has no mother! Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird that I was thinking Mom is here, and at that very same moment Brenda comes to a realization that the taiko drummers represent a motherly ancestral role for the performance? Ok eerie. I will say no more.

I have lots to work on. Janet has given me a mysterious part playing with just her and Mark doing some "really hard" patterns. I don't quite know what that means yet. I have to go buy some mallets though--I've never played taiko with mallets. Hmmmm. But on the brighter side, we have cut Mokuyobi from the set. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief when that was suggested. That's kind of funny since I spent a good amount of time this weekend before rehearsal trying to get my Mokuyobi solo in order. I actually can live with it. For now.

Ok, gotta get to work now. I've been summoned to Jury Duty next week, and I'm crossing my fingers I get on a jury since I've already been on juries twice and I know that part of the service requires two-hour lunch breaks (for practicing "really hard" taiko) and going home at 4. We'll see.

Inspirations and Goosebumps

The Hanayui visit was awesome. I don't mean awesome in the tubular sense of the word, but awe-some. As in, inspiring awe. They embody what it means to be an artist. They take their passions and lift them to the greatest levels. Yet they are still human and accessible and humble. Just wonderful people. Their workshop was fabulous. We learned dance, song and taiko playing. It was fun and worked for people at different levels and I don't think anyone walked away from the workshop without a smile on their face. It was completely sold out and I'd never seen the RCW space so crammed with students--we would have had more if we had more drums and space. It was so much fun to be dancing and singing and playing taiko with everyone.

But the greatest highlight was getting to see them perform later that week. All I can say is wow. No, there is so much more than I can say. Or maybe not. Maybe you had to be there as they transformed from being mortals like the rest of us into the greatest, most other-worldly, most professional and, I'll say it again, awe-inspiring performers. Their grace and sharpness and wit captivated the audience. At one point, Chieko-san was doing an intense dance, and the fan that she had tucked into her obi fell out. I would almost swear that she had dropped it intentionally because of the very precise and intentional way she picked it up later in the piece. It was like part of the performance. Just a quick gesture before a new movement in the piece, but so graceful. Something like that speaks volumes about the decades of experience and presence of mind she has as a performer. Maybe she did drop it intentionally? I could be convinced either way. Not that I want to focus on that. Not when there were the haunting and beautiful voices filling the room, or the powerful gestures of Okinawan dance, or the twirling beauty of Hachijo. Kaoru Watanabe added much with his expert and emotional fue and flute playing.

I have to say that I am very inspired by all this. I reallyreallyreally want to go on the trip to Sado now. I'd like to be out there, experiencing once again what this briefest of visits had to offer.

And while the visit had to end, the taiko doesn't stop. Maze Daiko is preparing for a show in April with Brenda Wong Aoki and Mark Izu entitled Ghosts and Girls. It's at a wonderful venue in the City. Details here. Tonight we had our first rehearsal with everyone and we played a piece called Chikara, which recalls the experience of Japanese Americans in the internment camps. I've always thought of it as Janet's most beautiful piece, but tonight Brenda was reciting some of the poetry that inspired the song, and Mark added his instrumentation, and I just got goosebumps all over my body. The only thing that gives me goosebumps is music, and then only the most certain and rarerest pieces of music, and tonight I really felt, deep down, the honor and privilege it is to be performing this piece of music. It was really special. It all just makes me feel very humbled and small. Someday I am sure everyone will find out that I have no idea of what I'm doing, and that I am such a beginner at this and they will say, what the heck is she doing here? But until then I will continue to try to experience the world as best I can. I have to try it, right?

This past week has inspired me and I am very, very happy to be here.

Bachi

Today my friend and I made about 20 pair of bachi. I volunteered to make bachi because I've been telling my class for weeks that I needed to do that, since our communal bachi are beginning to splinter. Also there is the Hanayui visit. I just want to be sure we look as sharp as possible for our visitors from the Bay Area and Japan. So, I had my reasons for bachi-making, but at the end of the day, I'm sure my friend was questioning her decision to help me in the first place. She did all the sawing--by hand!--and I was the bachi-tip sander. We had the option of using a table saw which would have been quick and easy, but since neither of us had any experience using such a dangerous piece of machinery, we opted for the good old fashioned method. This morning I was looking on the internet for table saw instructions, and I just came up with lots of warnings that if used incorrectly, you could lose a finger. My friend made a very good point that sealed the deal: I use my fingers at work for typing, so I can't afford to lose a finger! Good point. Me neither. But boy oh boy is bachi-making hard work. We're both sore. But yo, we have no reason to complain. I saw a video once of someone making their own pair of bachi --from two rectangular blocks of wood! That's hardcore.

I'm a A-MER-i-can!

Sometimes when I want to be sure to remember something, I send myself an email. I've had an email in my inbox dating back to July 7, 2006 reminding me to renew my passport, which expired in '05. My main excuse for not renewing my passport was bad hair. But anyway, the stars aligned and I simultaneously got a haircut, remembered that I needed to renew my passport, and walked into a passport-picture-taking shop, and long story short, I have a passport. I still don't like my passport photo, despite the fact that I had a decent haircut and that I, GASP, am wearing lipstick. There will be no blogging of my passport photo, but just take my word for it. This photo is a vast improvement from my last passport photo, which was taken right after I had been numbed up for cavity repair by the dentist, and I kid you not, on a windy day. That picture was horrible.

Anyhow, I wanted to renew my passport because of the possibility of me taking a trip to Japan to study on the lonely island of Sado at the Kodo apprentice center. Yes, this is kind of a plug. But really. KASA/Mix puts on a really great tour to Japan that I've heard is life-altering. Actually I think of it as more of a rite of passage if you're a taiko player. You get to eat, sleep and play taiko in the world's most renowned place for taiko playing with some of the most dedicated taiko musicians in the world. My main hurdle is, will my job let me take the time off? That's the only thing. Nothing else can stop me. Next week's visit by Hanayui is only a sample of the great things offered by the KASA tour. Really, check it out. RCW's staff have been working really hard to create meaningful relationships and community and all the sticky technical stuff like the lowest flight fares possible in order to create a trip that will change your life. If you play taiko, go on this trip.

Hanayui

I won't get busted for stealing this picture, will I? Props go to rhythmix.org

We're gearing up for a special visit by world-renowned Hanayui. They are a trio of dancers and vocalists hailing from the famous island of Sado, home to the infamous taiko group, Kodo. Two members of Hanayui are also founding members of Kodo, and they are touring with master fue player Kaoru Watanabe, a former Kodo member himself. They'll be holding a workshop at Rhythmix Cultural Works on March 11, but if you haven't signed up by now, I'm sorry to say it's sold out (I signed up already!). They will also be holding a performance on March 13th, and if you don't get your tickets in like 2 seconds from now, they will be sold out too. Information about Hanayui's visit can be found here.

One of the reasons the workshop sold out is because we have a limited amount of drums. The other night Janet and I spent some time putting some love into our practice drums, which have held up surprisingly well given the fact that my taiko class has been pounding them for the past 8 months. We pulled miles of rope and I'm sure we both walked away with bulging water-blisters (Well I did, anyway). A couple of them needed extra TLC, so I brought them home for a nice stretch and extra packing-tape repairs. That's right people, I said packing tape! These drums are made out of water barrels, metal rings and packing tape, all strung together with rope. And yo, they sound good! A big improvement on old tires. Not that there's anything wrong with tires. I played drums covered in nasty old carpet scraps, so it really is an honor to have the space to make noise and drums to make noise with. Here's a pic:

I can't wait. Get your tickets if you haven't already!

Paying the Piper

I did my taxes last night and to my dismay: I owe the government something like 600 bucks. What a bummer. All that independent contractor work takes a giant bite out of my standard deduction, or whatever it is. They don't take out taxes when they pay you for indie work, so it's really nice to have this big paycheck, but you have to know that it comes with some very expensive strings attached. This year I'm logging mileage and everything it takes to bring down the bottom line. Anyone out there know of any tax tricks for musicians, let me know. A friend said I ought to claim zero exemptions at my regular job. I think I'm gonna.

On a happier note, I sent off my last check to the student loan people, so I am officially debt-free and boy does that feel good! Now I am going to start doing some serious saving, people.