I Disappoint Myself

Today we ran through Mokuyobi, and for an entire weekend a few weeks back I was working madly on composing a new solo. I wrote about 2/3 or 3/4 of a good solo, and drilled it, and was actually kind of happy with it, which is a new thing. But I didn't think we were working on it tonight, so I didn't practice, and when it came for my turn to play my solo, my mind went completely blank. Couldn't remember a lick of it. Couldn't remember a lick of any incarnation of ANY Mokuyobi solo I had ever composed, ever. It was awful. I was so mad at myself. Awful, awful. I will have to work on that some more. Plus my song. Plus everything else, which is piling up. Argh. Made a little progress on kata tonight though. I am learning how to learn, yet as a teacher I am also thinking on how to teach others how to learn, and how to teach others how to learn who learn different from me. That is my current challenge. Among other things.