Ruffians

Miscreants. Hoodlums. Ne'er-do-wells. I don't like to curse on this blog, but it'll make me feel better--motherfuckers! (or as they say in Alameda--weirdos!) I'm so angry right now. If you could see me, I'd have steam coming out of my ears. No, actually, you'd see me look absolutely calm and quiet, which is a really, really bad sign if you know me and know that I'm angry. We've been having taiko class at a place in West Oakland, which quite frankly, is ghetto. Literally. Not the best neighborhood. Not the kind of neighborhood my Dad would ever let me venture into. Before I could unload my jeep I had to move it away from a pile of vomit. That kind of neighborhood.

Anyhow, we had taiko class as usual, and afterward we were loading up the cars to go home. I was standing outside Janet's car when I see this group of adolescent guys come up on bicycles, and one of them--the MoFo runt--starts huffing like a gorilla and I know he's up to no good, and he swoops by on his bike and he reaches out to grab a shime. But he misses, and I'm in such shock--like what the f*&% do you think you're doing? And I'm also thinking, ok, we're totally outnumbered. There's just me and Janet outside here and a bunch of guys. If you're a woman, then you know that this is not good. Then Mofo comes back and tries it again, but I find a way to keep him away from the drums. And I'm thinking, ok what do I do? I could go after him, but I'm a little scared of him and I'm even more scared of his friends, and if I step away from this pile of shime/okedos we'll lose them. Then he jumps off his bike and jumps into Janet's car (like a gorilla--really, an animal), going after a josuke. I know that no one just rides off with a josuke on a bicycle, so I'm not worried that he'll take that drum, but I'm worried about Janet. I don't think she saw what was going on with me and she turns around when Mofo runt is jumping in the back of her car and she's really annoyed. She was like, Oh go away! Leave us alone! and she finds a way to scare him off. It was kind of funny because I was scared but she was really totally annoyed. Mofo wasn't able to get away with the josuke of course, but he pulled it out of the car and dropped it on the ground. Ouch. At this point he gets back on his bike, and I'm thinking oh damn, I should have taken his bike when he was in the car, but anyway. I chase him a little bit, because you know, I'm so big and scary, and he and his friends go away. Thank god.

And I'm so angry. I don't even want to think of all the things I could have done. All those wonderful brave things you could have done in retrospect. Yes, I could have knocked him off his bike or thrown a shime at him. But I can't think like that. I protected the drums. I didn't pick a fight with a bunch of Mofos in the ghetto. We're all safe. The drums are safe. I'm just one pissed off taiko player.

I kept my composure as we finished loading up the drums, and also when we unloaded drums at Janet's, but as soon as I was back in my car I cried. And I cried all the way home and cried big in my bed. Scared. Angry. Furious. I just wanted to go back there with a baseball bat and my big brother, but of course, no one can fight my battles for me, and it wouldn't solve anything. I just worry that Mofo will come back. And I worry not for myself or the drums or my fellow taiko-players, but for him. I am just so angry. I'm scared that I have this feeling of really wanting to hurt him. If he comes back again, I wouldn't hesitate. He's a kid, a coward. But I'm so angry that I could hurt him and not feel bad about it. That's not good, is it?

Afterwards Janet called me to check in on me, and she told me that she thought it was just really sad that all those boys had to do on a Sunday morning was cause that kind of trouble. That's one of the reasons why I like Janet. She's got perspective and wisdom that makes me want to be a better person. I have to let this go. I did the right thing.

Right? Oh give me the strength not to buy an aluminum baseball bat and keep it in my car.