Past Exhaustion

Woke up today at 5:30 am. When my clock radio went off, my eyes popped open and I jumped out of bed. I'd be a great firefighter. I woke up this early so that I could get ready to run my Stadium to Stadium 10k race. The race took us from the Giant's stadium to Candlestick park. It was a nice race, flat and fast for the most part. I wasn't in the mood to be fast this morning. I wasn't in the mood to run 6 miles at all. But I put this race on my calendar a while back, and since I paid for the darn race, I had to run it. It wasn't bad. I started out sluggish, and by the time my body reluctantly agreed to be running at such an early god-awful time on a Saturday morning, the 49'ers stadium was within sight. The only catch was that while, yes, the stadium was right there, they made us run around a gigantic parking lot. When I say gigantic, I mean gigantic in the biblical sense. When I've run my limit, my body starts getting loopy, and I feel like I'm going to pass out unless I lift my head and look towards the horizon. Only problem with this is that the horizon is filled with teeny-tiny runners very far away--a distance that I still have to run. But I hunkered down and finished the race without walking. They had a great after-party--free pasta and sports drinks and other goodies. I also signed up to be a marrow donor--one of those bucket-list to-do items.

Then it was off to a 5 hour rehearsal. Learning completely new stuff--less than a month out from the big show. I'm feeling the stress, believe me. And I am so utterly exhausted today. It's a good exhaustion, but enough to make me wipe my brow and hunker down and work and push harder than I thought. It's like running in a way. You think you can only go so far, but you lift your head, and accept the fact that the finish line is still a ways off, and just keep moving your feet. You see the great coliseum, you hear the immensity of all those gathered there. You think maybe you're going to pass out, you think your feet won't carry you. But they do. And you get there, even if you think you couldn't. Even if you think the chasm you must pass is biblical. This is going to be a great show. New pieces. Fabulous talent.  But this 5-hour rehearsal really kicked my butt. When I got home I fell (accidentally?) asleep for 15 minutes, only to jump up out of bed to go to the store to get dinner, and eh, while I was up and at it, I cleaned the house. Picked up my pile of dirty clothes, vacuumed the floors, cleaned the bathroom. I figured if I was so tired, then being even more tired wasn't going to hurt. 

I have so much I need to work on! How am I going to do it? 

Lift my head. Raise my eyes toward the coliseum.