Saying it Out Loud Makes it So

OK. I am going to run Bay to Breakers again this year.

There, I said it. 

Actually, I already signed up for the race and payed the %$@&ing bucks ($9) to have my bib mailed to me. Which means that now I have to train for the darn race. Yes, you are now a witness. 

I have no plans of bringing a friend with me (though if my usual B2B partner wants to drive up from LA to join me, she is more than welcome).  My training this time is different. The will is more personal. I want to run and finish this race for me. I'm not doing it to prove anything. I'm not doing it to please anyone. I'm doing it for ME. 

I want to get into shape again. I want to have that first B2B body I had when I was training so hard for it the first time. Only now the great hurdle is knowing that this race is not as big of a hurdle that I thought it would be the first time I ran it. It's a fun easy race and that hill in the middle is nothing. But I want the physicality of it. I want the sweat and muscle and determination. But I want those things for other things. We've been doing 2-slant stuff in taiko, and I have to admit--I am so winded after playing. That is bad. I want endurance. I want to feel the strength of my body. I want aches and shin splints and time in a hot bathtub and the agony of looking at my watch and realizing I still have 15 more minutes to go and trying to find the mental strength to get through those last 15 minutes. I want the quiet meditative time of running hills, of pushing through walls. The journey is in the struggle.

I'm ready for that. I ran 30 minutes last Wednesday, and for a body that hadn't run for a couple of months, and instead indulged in many holiday meals and was enjoying the deadly sins of gluttony and sloth, I did pretty good. Well, it was pretty good when I was running, but now, 2 days later, my legs are killing me. Muscles that I didn't know I even had are screaming for attention and sympathy. But that's ok. That's actually what I've been craving for.

I'd like to feel alive again. I'd like to feel sweat and accomplishment. It's the third Sunday of May. You should do it too!