Adventures in Los Angelandia

Just got back from LA and am promptly on my way to Hawaii to spend a Hawaiian New Year there. I've heard it's quite a party, and an experience nonetheless for a mainlander like me. It was good to spend time with my family. We had our usual X-mas dinner at my Aunty's and I realize now that I did little else but eat and do the usual chores around the house. What could be better than eating really good food for several days? My Dad tirelessly spent time trying to fix an annoying leak on my car (he is a genius, and devised a fix from junkyard fittings and some hose and clamps). We went to my favorite sandwich joint, Philippe's, and my favorite Mexican restaurant, Diana's for killer Menudo. 

I drove in today from LA, and though the drive was pretty much eventless, what with the lack of Tule fog and the sometimes traffic-stopping snow on the Grapevine, I was exhausted nonetheless. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and coasted the way up Highway 5.  I stopped for coffee somewhere in the darkness, and munched on Marukai Musubi somewhere near Harris Ranch, which by the way, can sometimes smell hideously like cows. 

I spent this evening unpacking from LA, and then repacking for Hawaii, in between a well-deserved nap that should have gone on and on, but that I forced myself (by the will of my alarm clock) to wake up from. 

Sleep now. And then an airplane. And then paradise, where the low promises to be higher than today's high. Hallelujah, people!

It's Jazz, Man

Had my first session with jazz musicians last night. Not jazz musicians collaborating with taiko players, but as a taiko player collaborating with jazz musicians. This is definitely a learning experience for me. I embrace it, really I do. But there is a part of me, a tiny part really, that had to snicker in the deepest reaches of my soul when Janet asked when we were supposed to come in, and he said, "Oh, maybe five minutes after the end of the sax solo." So ok, that's what I'm in for.

But I don't want to belittle it. I think there is a large part of me that feels very comfortable holding back and waiting for direction. I like being told exactly what to play and when. Then I can be a perfectionist. I can rehearse, obsess, practice--I have control. I know what to play and when to come in. But with jazz, it's different. There is a lot of feeling of things. I think this is something that works for me. I am a feeler. I sense things, intuit things. I trust my gut more than anything, and more often than not it ends up being right. I know that one of the great hurdles I must overcome as a taiko player is letting go of that sense of wanting to control things, and instead trusting my intuition and gut and just let that intuiting side of me shine through. I have to trust all the things I have learned, all the hours I have spent working on patterns and rhythms, and just allow my hands and body to play. I know these things. I can play them. I can use them as a tool to express all the joy and all the emotions that music embodies that no other medium can capture. But there is a part of me that always holds back. There is that part of me that always wants to be in control, rehearsed, practiced, thought out. If I could just let go! If I could just let it all come out of me, then I would gain such tremendous confidence. 

Well that's a thought.

I mean, I've been writing for a few years now about how I am trying to approach my whole life with an open, beginner's mind. And though I never want to lose that sensibility, maybe it is time to acknowledge that I have learned things. That there are many people along the way who have instilled knowledge and confidence and spirit. I need to take all those lessons and try to apply it. 

This is something to think about. There is always a feeling of stages that I am going through. Like I'm on this journey, and no one is really guiding me, but I always feel like there is something I need to address and work on. The first lesson: learn everything. The second: learn how to learn. Now maybe the next lesson is to learn to trust myself and my experience and learn how to carry my lessons with confidence. It really is like jazz. Take what you know and play with it, innovate, interpret, have fun with it and just let go. 

I will have to work on that.

That's a hard thing, but yeah, I think I'm on to something.

Busier Than Ever

Last Friday we had our student showcase at RCW.  My students did awesome. They were all smiles and good energy and the audience wanted more, which is exactly how we like leaving them. They worked hard and kicked butt and I hope they are happy with their great achievement. But now that all of that is over with, I thought I'd have some time and space to breathe, but no, it's not like that at all.

The next pressing performance is a gig with Mark Izu and "friends." Not quite sure who all his friends are, but we go into rehearsal next week for that, and Janet had me go over stuff with her. I have a feeling that it won't be a "play this thing now," kind of thing. The direction may be more nebulous and open to creativity and interpretation.  Which is why I'm glad that Janet likes to always be prepared, and I'm glad we had a little session today. I think this will be more nerve wracking to me since I'm not used to this kind of style but it will be good experience for me. They're jazz musicians so I'll just play it cool, man, you know, like jazz.

I'd also like to work on my new song, and we've created a shift and opening up of the piece that leaves it more up to me to figure out what to do with it. This will require some quiet time with my practice pad and my imagination. It's the time part that I'm short on.

Also Michaelle is teaching us cool little things and I want to just go over them all day. I'd also like to work some of the rhythms she's shown us into taiko parts. What's great about her class is that everything we're learning is exactly the opposite of what I've ever been taught about taiko. For one thing we are learning hand drumming, which means you hit the drum with your hand. I remember once we were trying to lug taiko from one place to the next and I got yelled at for touching the head of the drum with my finger. Jeez. Now I have to play the drum with my hands and there's this itty bitty part of me that fears someone is going to jump out of the woodwork and yell at me again. Also we've been working on stick stuff and there are times we play the side of the drum with the stick, which is also a big taiko no-no for me. Some groups hit the side of the drum, but ours didn't (because it makes dents, and somebody has to sand all those dents out eventually). I am really trying hard in this class. I have a hard time remembering patterns, and that is a challenge. I'm a slow learner, and I'm glad Michaelle is always so patient with me, and I'm glad also she pushes me and makes me learn variations. She keeps it interesting, although anything we do is interesting.

And finally I need to come up with syllabi for next session's classes. I'm going to try a new approach to the beginning class. I'd like to make it more fun and less work for them. Less pressure to go home and practice. I'd like to see if I can keep attrition to a minimum if I make it more fun for them. Then if I see that there are more serious minded folks I can eventually ask them to join the intermediates, which is where I'll ask them to work harder. It'll be an experiment. Less stress for me, and for them. Janet warned me that I may not like having a class like that. We'll see. 

So back to work for me. But this is good though. Work on skills. Work on my class. Work on performance. Work on creating my own song. I like this. Just wish I had more hours in my day.

Projection

On Friday my students are going to be in their first RCW Taiko performance, which for the majority of them will be their first taiko performance ever. I resist the urge to project my own feelings upon them, but I can't help but feel them anyway.  I don't think I remember what my first performance was, but I certainly remember significant performances--the preparation, the hard work, sore muscles, the stressing, the nervousness. You get there and you hear the crowd before you see them. Your stomach twinges, your palms sweat, your heart flutters. There's that thrill and excitement in the air. You get up there, in front of friends, family, strangers, and do the thing that's been such a long time coming, and then it's over, just like that. And then maybe you realize it's not the performance that was significant, but the actual build-up and anticipation and all the work went in it to get you there. I'm personally not a bit nervous about this Friday's performance, and I feel a little proud saying that. I mean I've been there already.  But no way do I take that for granted. There are still performances that make me feel as green as the first day I picked up a pair of bachi, that make me all nerves. During our first Ghosts and Girls show I was standing there behind the curtain that separated us from an auditorium filled with people (we could hear them!) and I didn't know what to do with all my nervous energy so I started doing silly dances and stuff with Crissy. So I hope that this recital means something to my students. I hope they realize how hard they have been working. How all the energy they have expended in class works toward something.  How they have contributed to the community that RCW strives to create. 

Or maybe I'm just projecting. The experiences that taiko has brought have come to mean a lot to me, so maybe I just remember and process these experiences differently than, say, my first driving lesson, or whatever. But maybe I think that you gain similar significance in your life with whatever it is that means something to you. There are lessons to be learned and taken away and applied to the rest of your life. This recital doesn't have to mean that to my students, and I don't expect it to be, but I hope that if there is anyone in this class who wants to take taiko, or music, or performance, or the arts more seriously, then I hope that all their hard work pays off for them in the long run. They worked hard. They asked for rehearsals every week before their recital when I asked for nothing more than showing up for the requisite classes. But my philosophy is if that if they were willing, then I would be there to encourage it.

So the best of luck to them all. Break a bachi!

I Got a New Hoodie!

I've been needing a new hoodie and I got a good one today! Check out the new RCW hoodies! You know you want one too! I'm not taking this baby off until it gets warm again--like maybe April or May! You'd have to peel this off my frigid dead body if you ever wanted to get your hands on it. Get your own--really!

We had a good rehearsal today. We worked on the new song I was helping Janet on. Makes me realize I need to get back into taiko shape. Slant stand stuff is hard--there's lots of movement and it's easy to wear yourself out. But it's oh so worth it. The song moves from being in 6 to being in 4. That's a workout for the brain right there. I'm glad we don't have to solo over a 6-groove. There's three of us on slants and two more on sets of small drums. It's sounding really good now even in its cocoon stages.

I also heard our recording of Kai to Ryu today. It's pretty awesome. They did some magic tricks to make it sound good, but you'd never know. They also added a touch of reverb at the end that gave it an extra sense of Oooh! When we recorded I insisted we redo a section that we messed up on. Not something that a regular person might hear, but it was something I'd hear and know and groan about for the rest of eternity. It sounds good, yo. Kai has always been such a struggle for me. Oh, all the blog entries I've written about that piece! Oh, the horror, Oh the struggle and defeat and triumph. That song has haunted all my days, but we've finally made something I'm proud of (although nothing could make me feel more triumphant than when we performed it last at Born to Drum)

Next Friday we have our Taiko Class recital. My students will be performing Mokuyobi to a live audience. We've been working really hard on this--the students have been working really hard. And it shows! At rehearsal last Tuesday they rocked. I had an anxiety dream about the recital last night. I dreamed that we had reworked the whole song and I just couldn't remember the new sequence. It was like those dreams where you show up to class and realize you forgot to study for an exam. I just couldn't get the sequence down no matter how many times I went over it. I was contemplating writing it down on my arm so I could play with them. I also got there late and had forgotten my black tabi. Oh it was horrible! I'm going to pack my costume right now!

But I know it will go great. If I actually showed up in that condition I know my students would just carry the performance on their own. Come check it out:

Rhythmix Student Showcase
Rhythmix Cultural Works
2513 Blanding Avenue
Alameda, CA 9401
510.865.5060
December 12, 2008
7:00 pm
FREE!

Come on by and see what the other classes are up to!

For Mom

I miss you.

Watching It All Come Together

I've been helping Janet with a new piece she is composing. It's been interesting seeing the creative process at work. I'm there as an extra set of hands and a second opinion. At the first Taiko Conference I went to, they had breakout sessions and one of them was on the composing process. Janet was on the panel along with other taiko greats, and I thought they would be talking about how to compose music. Like, step one, get out a sheet of paper. Step two, write out a general outline of the song. Step three, get 3 pair of dice and light a candle and say the kuchi shoga backwards in the bathroom mirror. Instead it turned out to be a meandering session on philosophical stuff that just wasn't helpful. Not that they didn't have interesting things to say--it just wasn't as practical and hands-on as I thought it would be.

But these past few weeks with Janet I've gotten to witness her thought process, and the way that she fits ideas and pieces together into actual music. It's all very organic. I've been struggling with composing my own song, and it's been good to see how it's actually done. She uses her bag of tricks and isn't afraid to just throw things together. One of the things she said was that if you just work at it long enough taiko just starts to sound good and come together--and it is! She's going to present it to the rest of the group next Sunday--and I get to help! I'd like to see that part of the process too--the presenting, the collaboration and negotiation and compromise and new ideas and perspectives and opinions. How do you take your baby that you've been nurturing and growing and submit it to the group for input and feedback and re-working? I'd like to see how she handles herself. 

I kept smashing my knuckles on the slant drums. I must have a lot of form stuff to work on. This is good though. I mean, it's one thing to be a student and to play what they tell you, but to be a fly on the wall in the creative process is a new step forward. It's like finally getting to sit at the grown-up table at Thanksgiving.