I've STILL Got it

Woke up today to the sound of rain. Haven't heard that since last winter, and boy do we need us some rain--too bad it had to be on the day of my big cross country race (5k, actually. We didn't cross any state lines or anything) at Mills College. Oh well, I've run in rain before. When I got to Mills, there were running-people everywhere. They were running in little packs in their spiffy matching outfits, exuding good health and youthful energy. All the memories of my running days in high school came back. The race we were running was an invitational, which is when a bunch of schools come together to run against each other, and in this case, the school invited individual runners without a college affiliation to run too. They called us "unattached" and there were about five or six of us, staffers and students.

We all lined up, and when they gave us the go, off we went. I had no intention of starting off particularly strong, and settled into what was a slightly fast, but normal pace for me. I was toward the back of the pack, but I knew there were people behind me--mostly 20 year olds, mind you! I tried to keep up with people, but sometimes I passed them (hooray!) and sometimes they passed me (hooray for them!). That competitive spirit and drive still lives in me, and when I was able to zoom by someone, I did it strong. There was one big hill and though it didn't kill me, it tried. It was a nice course, but I must have been running hard, because I was really feeling it during the last half mile. That's when you have to dig and find the strength inside you to go on. One of the runners ahead of me started walking, and I thought, that looks like a nice idea, but of course I didn't, and tried to cheer her on a little as I passed by.

In the last 200 meter stretch someone was trying to pass me, and I sped up to keep up with her, and it was a footrace, and I yelled Come on! Come on!, and I let her beat me into the gate even though we were side by side. I mean, there's a part of me that's a competitor, but there is the part of me also that is learning how to motivate and inspire. I'm not saying that oh, I could have kicked her butt, but I LET her win. No. Because that's not the point for me anymore. It's not about winning. At that point I was thinking we're going to get better times if we push each other. I think what I'm coming to realize--not just in running, but life in general--is that for me it's not about competing against others anymore, but more about seeking out or just facing the challenges that are ahead of you. You actually get a lot further when you work with the people around you, and when they're inspired, you get inspired too. It's not about beating them, it's about finding ways to work together. Today, for me, signing up for the race and running it and finishing it was a great accomplishment. I'm happy and proud that I finished*. I'd do it again.

*And just between you and me, I'm secretly happy that there were still a bunch of runners behind me, and that I even beat a couple people on the Mills team. Come on, I'm old. Or rather, I'm not 20 anymore.