Pushing

Today before rehearsal I got a call from Janet saying that she'd be late and that she wanted me to lead the others in drill. Cell phone coverage sucks, so just to know that I heard her right, I was like, drill? You said drill? And she said yeah, drill. I drove straight-away to RCW, less because I thought I'd be late, and more as a chance to think about what drill I ought to be doing. We had a nice discussion last weekend, and I figured that oroshi (drumrolls) would be a good drill for us. It's my most unfavorite drill, but really good for you if you're a taiko player. Oroshi is good opportunity to work on kata and strength and (my least favorite part) kiai and energy. I was also thinking, so why'd she call me? Was it because I'm always early? Was it because I teach a taiko class? Was it because she thinks I can actually lead the rehearsal? Such responsibility! Such pressure! Good pressure, mind you. I felt very responsible and humbled. I felt so kohai.

Anyhow. The others were a little late, and Janet was not as late as she thought she'd be, and we wound up doing oroshi. I don't know if I was the best leader, but I pushed them. I think my problem is that I push myself really, really hard, and I think that I can push others as almost as hard as I push myself. But is that right? Is that ok? I don't want to go into my own life experiences, but you can't always expect others to push themselves as far as you would push yourself. You can't think that just because you can go so far that others can too. Sometimes as far as you can go isn't as far as someone else can go. Sometimes you can do more harm than good. I've done this. I've gone that far before. And while at rehearsal tonight I pushed really hard, I felt a great responsibility, thinking, oh, maybe we should stop because so-and-so is not playing and instead stretching her arm out. But then I was like, oh we can so do this. Just a little more--let's just finish the drill--I know we can. But are you gaining anything when people start to drop out? Is it ok to do that kind of pushing? I mean, I've been pushed that hard and when I came out on the other side I felt stronger and I felt like I was a better player. Is it ok to expect the same from other people?