What the *&%$ Was I Thinking?

OK, blue fingernails are not as cool as I thought. Maybe they're cool at first, but then they burn fiery hot and swell up twice their size and then turn all sorts of colors and a week later what you get is what you see--a disgusting nub of inflamed pain. Did I tell you I had to duck behind that backdrop we had set up in order to keel over for a minute while Janet kept the show going? I put the bear in there to offset the swollen grotesqueness that even the photograph couldn't caputre. And now my pinky is just in the way all the time. I can't type. I have a hard time washing my hair. And tonight I was practicing Renshu and my finger was sticking out and of course I accidentally whacked it again. I've never had a stronger urge to amputate a part of myself as I did after I whacked it again. I was told I'm probably going to lose my fingernail, and I was like what? And then what? This is just gross.